Doctor (sighing, couldn’t sound less interested): what seems to be the problem today?
Patient: the thing is, it’s not just the one problem.
Doctor: well this appointment is strictly limited to five minutes I’m afraid, so why don’t we deal with one problem now and you can book yourself in for some follow-up appointments to deal with the other problems?
Patient: no, sorry, but no.
Doctor: no?
Patient: correct. As I said, I have multiple problems, the treatment of which it is your job to administer.
Doctor: my job, I think you’ll find, is for me to provide you with a five-minute consultation.
Patient: so, let me get this straight: you effectively want me to restrict this consultation to just one problem?
Doctor: that’s about the size of it.
Patient: even though I have zero medical training and am therefore unlikely to be able to select the problem that requires the most urgent attention.
Doctor: well, I wouldn’t frame it quite like that.
Patient: even though there is more than a passing chance that these so-called problems I keep referring to are likely interrelated and therefore cannot be meaningfully appraised in isolation.
Doctor: hm, you have a point, I can’t deny it, but I don’t make the rules. And the rules clearly stipulate you have five minutes of my time, which is enough time to deal with one problem only. Is the system perfect? No. Can I do anything about that? Also no.
Patient: fine, you win, I’ll stick to one problem.
(The patient does his best to apprise the doctor of the problem he has chosen, pretty much at random, from a veritable multitude of problems. The doctor listens impatiently to the patient’s monologue until his irascibility can no longer be contained.)
Doctor (holding a palm up): okay, okay, I think I get the gist.
Patient: you do?
Doctor: Yes.
Patient: But I haven’t even got to the nub of the issue yet.
Doctor: no need, no need. I have enough to go on. (He writes a script, hands it to the patient, who frowns, looks as if he is about to say something, then decides not to, stands up and leaves.)
Later, the patient has a seizure and dies. He is reincarnated as a bat.