Archive

My writing handily organised into four discrete categories.

August 2026

alcoholic workaholic

Speaks for itself

Noah Blue · 33 min read

Begin reading

Fiction

Shark Attack: The Aftermath

Grief has stages

Noah Blue · 8 min read

Everything changed after my wife died in a shark attack.

Fiction

X was the problem

Or was he?

Noah Blue · 15 min read

X was the problem. Y was a docile character and rarely spoke. Maybe he was capable of something, but whatever it was it was clear he would never actually get around to doing it.

Fiction

Caitlin Brown

An excerpt

Noah Blue · 23 min read

The fact that we had been lovers complicated things obviously, for me anyway. I realised this during Caitlin’s yearly appraisal.

Fiction

Ding-a-fucking-ling

The phenomenology of depression

Noah Blue · 13 min read

The fact of the matter was I didn’t want to die. I’d spent a long time thinking I did, but when it came right down to it I didn’t. Any kind of life, even a shitty one like mine, was better than no life at all.

Fiction

For as long as he can remember, S has been on the verge of jacking it all in

Cringe

Noah Blue · 27 min read

S’s wife packs her stuff and moves out of the marital home, taking the dog with her, which is fine by S (he never did like the yappy glorified rat anyway). The day after his wife leaves him, S tells his boss he’s quitting with immediate effect.

Fiction

An introduction to A

#Surrey

Noah Blue · 10 min read

When he isn’t trampling in the fields, A reads. He reads short stories mainly, but also sometimes novels, though only very short ones. As A reads, he consumes alcohol. The two go hand in hand as far as he is concerned. The more he drinks the more he reads, the more he reads the more he drinks.

Fiction

a (gratuitously) bawdy caper with capitalist undertones

#white-collar worker

Noah Blue · 18 min read

The office is dank and smells of onions and something else that I don’t know the noun for. The guy on the other side of the desk has a handlebar moustache and a nervous twitch. He is staring at me and I am staring at him, neither of us inclined to say anything.

Fiction

Absinthe

A story that disappears up its own rectum

Noah Blue · 12 min read

The meeting ends with each of us being escorted by our respective henchmen away from the clandestine location. My henchmen are in a jovial mood, having probably taken illicit substances whilst they were waiting for me.

Fiction

I am a big fat phony

Unfiltered

Noah Blue · 16 min read

I am a big fat phony. Right now, for example, I am at my desk busy tapping out an email to a colleague about something I don’t give two shits about, even though I am giving the distinct impression that I do.

Fiction

Mr Two Fucks

A crime caper (of sorts)

Noah Blue · 46 min read

I have a problem. Allow me to elucidate. A certain someone, let’s call him Mr Two Fucks, has been sabotaging my work, clumsily and without guile, it is true, nevertheless sabotage is sabotage.

Fiction

there is no such thing as free will

To state the obvious

Noah Blue · 13 min read

I am alone, unless you count the dog as company. A whole day with nothing to do stretches out in front of me. I make a cup of coffee and read over the story I wrote the night before. It’s about a man who lives alone with his dog; a whole day with nothing to do stretches out in front of him.

$Two luminous eyes glowing teal and green in near-total darkness, fractured and overlapping$

Fiction

A Short Story About a Man Who Writes Novels

Experimental ones

Noah Blue · 30 min read

S writes a novel that can at best be described as experimental and at worst an abject failure. S doesn’t see this, not to begin with. As far as he is concerned it’s an authentic work of literature, maybe a little abstruse in places and perhaps parsimonious when it comes to the use of similes (although not metaphors strangely enough), but otherwise artistically sound. In other words, not a prize-winning novel (not that S is in it to win prizes, although he has no problem with them in principle, and would gladly accept one, were it ever to come his way, which it won’t) but solid, good enough, an eight out of ten let’s say, on a good day.

Fiction

Other than my parents splitting up, nothing much has happened recently

A coming-of-age tale (mostly)

Noah Blue · 27 min read

My dad recently moved out of the family home and into a studio apartment in a rundown part of town known for illicit activities. Why that part of town, I have no idea. It’s not as if my dad is poor and has to live there. In fact, he could probably afford to live in the so-called salubrious part of town if he wanted to.

Fiction

Serial Killer

An edge case

Noah Blue · 18 min read

I want to go for a walk, but at the same time I’m not sure if I do. I stand up and make as if to set off, but then I sit down again, sighing. I should go for a walk. A walk would be good for me. But then what if I run into some unforeseen trouble on my walk? Won’t I be safer here, sat down? Here in my flat I am safe, out there I can’t legislate for what will happen. I guess I’ll stay put then.